It grinds you down that not only do more+more people think you and your church are misogynistic homophobes, but more+more Christians do too.
look, they're Christians like you and they don't believe that; clearly your reasons are misogynistic/homophobic, not theology.
& ultimately those perceptions of what is acceptable within church traditions move out of general use and into legislation.
But it's the personal sense of it that is the hardest, of course, rather than all the large-scale levels beyond you.
as the box within which you and your fellows are gets smaller and more painful, your boxy little heart gets crushed too.
and the gulf of understanding between your heart and those around you gets larger, as the shared starting points get smaller.
[everyone competes to play world's smallest violin for the self-pitying misogynist homophobe; oh poor you]