Thursday, 21 January 2010

adam and joe made-up jokes

Adam and Joe had on their programme - they're off-air at the moment though I'm still working through podcasts (I had re-signed up to them recently after a break) - a feature where they read out jokes which listeners had made up. Some of them turned out to be not made up, of course, but you could tell that quite a few of them were, as they're the kind of joke you would make up at home and not hear a professional do (here's one I made up, for example: Why did the boy's hair laugh? Because he slept on it funny.) And of course it's perfectly possible that the same simple joke can be made up by many diferent people independently, and over time.

One gave me the giggles at bedtime when I listened to it sometime before Christmas such that Bethan made me tell it to her since she couldn't sleep with me laughing beside her in bed. Of course when I told her it, it didn't make her laugh, and it won't make you laugh either (Martha sent it in, made up by her coworker Mike):
The farmyard animals have entered a competition organised by the farmer and his wife. A marquee kitted out with decks, lights and a glitter ball is the prize, which goes to the animal which presents the best Shakespearean passage. The sheep does Macbeth, the horse does Hamlet, and the cow does Richard III. The farmer and his wife have a tough job choosing a winner, but finally they announce, 'Cow is the winner of our disco tent.'

Some others, as I'm just listening to them now on the backed-up podcasts (all paused at the point where the made-up jokes came in).
How do you make a questionnaire laugh? You tickall its boxes.
Did you hear how Velma from Scooby Doo's teaching evaluation went? She would have gotten an A with it if it wasn't for those pesky kids.
Have you heard about the new sitcom in which a young man advises his stepmother about the weather? It's called, It Ain't Hot, Half-Mum.
What does any aspiring journalist or novelist hope to get in their Christmas cracker? A pull-it surprise.
Holmes and Watson notice that the birds have taken the fruit off all the trees in their garden except one. Watson wonders why that one has been left. 'It's a lemon tree, dear Watson.'
What do bees in Kensington do when they build a new home in an unusually high tree? They have a high-swarming party.
It's really cold in Motown. Do you know what the maximum temperature is? Three Degrees, Four Tops.
Who's the coolest guy in the hospital? The ultra-sound guy. Who replaces him when he's away? The hip replacement guy.
And an old one from Adam/Joe: What's the difference between Robert Burns and Walt Disney? Robert buns but Walt disnae.